as brianna would say... SCANDALOUS

did you notice the caps? and i never use caps or capitalization anywhere on this page, so you know this is good.

ok kiddos, gather round the fire, uncle hi-me has a story.

so brianna calls me last night, and says "i know you're doing something scandalous, when it's late at night and you're not picking up your phone... sca....nd...a...lous."

now you know why i love brianna (best friend going on 9 years for those not in the know); even the simple act of not answering a phone call and she instinctively knows i'm up to something, and it usually isn't good.

well folks, i've been up to something for the past couple of nights.

there's no easy way to say this, and i know i'll get shit for it, but here goes... jaimeandricarebacktogether.

that's right i said it.

now remember, jaime went a little crazy on ric (hello jaime's new philosophy on relationships), so ric had good reason to react, and so things were over. after the initial anger and disbelief, we started talking.

but of course, it wasn't easy, there were blow ups and crying and understanding and explaining, reassurance and compassion, but most importantly, there was honesty.

and honestly, we both know we love each other, and we both know we're in very different places right now; him trying to start his life long dream, and me trying to start my life. but that's just it... we finally realized it. we forced and tried, fought and cried, to understand each other, when it was just going to be impossible because we were just not ready in our lives, or in a place in our lives that it would be easy, remember evolution?

but now there's just an amazing new understanding (all because i was honest finally, what a shocker!). i don't hold back in anything anymore for instance, i say and tell him just what's on my mind. there's no longer pressure for anything, it's hard to explain that one, but he's very of the mind "do what you like and live your life, i'll live my life and do what i like, but we'll always come back to each other at the end of the day." i know! those were his words too!

and he's also recognized how much i need right now to go and do my thing. and it all kinda works out. like right now, he just left this morning for LA. he'l be back at the end of the week, works a few days, then right back out for three to four weeks, then back to me for ten days. and it just kinda works out. i'll have a bunch of free time to do my thing (job hunt, hang with friends, be jaime) and i'll have time with him as well. i get both worlds. he's living out his dream in LA, making new friends and learning about this new "guilt free/censor free" mentality of his, and gets me in the end as well. he gets both worlds.

we're both very happy with our decision (and were not too happy with the break up). we knew we wanted to be together, but we didn't know how. it had to be explored and talked about. and the universe led us to this point, back to each other somehow. and i have to recognize that the universe knows what it's doing.

now don't worry. we're not all romeo and juliet either. we're taking it easy, very much in love and in a relationship but still, a lot more relaxed than before and with a lot more understanding and .... well basically ... we want to use this time in our lives to not only build on our relationship and tweak it, but go back and further build on our friendship as well. something that i, and now he, finally really understands. we rushed into things kinda, we're already at the end point now we're just working on that path that got us here.

i personally am exstatic. sorry. it's just that, when it comes down to it....it's like... you know how when you meet someone knew for the first time for a date, there's just parts of yourself and things about you you wouldn't tell them because you're trying to get in good, and the things you don't want them to see, you'll never let them see. and in some relationships, people aren't really plain comfortable around each other.

it's the complete opposite. he knows everything about me and i do everything in front of him, he knows alllllllllllll about me, and then some.... and on top of that, a little more... a little i bet he wishes he could just men-in-black right out his head. but honestly, it's a comfortability that's unlike any other, and i just don't think that i'd be able to be that way around any one else. because i'll just say this, that "and them some...and on top of that... more" stuff... it's pretty damn freaky and would propbably have 99% of the population running and screaming for a 30 minute chat with mel gibson about christ. why the hell you think i only have 2 incredibly close friends? they're the only other two people outside of ric who would ever.... ever evereverever ever... put up with my array of strange and neurotic shit. hello can you say never picking a damn restaurant and incessantly talking about a fictitious mother and daughter team who annoy everyone but me (and up to 10 million americans on any given tuesday night thank you).

like santisha said, "hey, if he makes you happy and can actually put up with your shit for more than a day, you have my blessing."

but hey, the fact that we love each other, helps ;). i've found my one in six billion.