i know i've already posted about this before, but i have to again.
i hate this fucking job search. seriously folks, with a passion, right up there with my passionate dislike of president fuckhead, usher, helium-voiced prepubescent-pop-rock bands and people who put coins in their mouths.
i ... f u c k i n g ...h a t e... t h i s... s h i t .
just got off the phone with novotus. for those who don't know, i didn't get the recruiter job. but dave, who i've been working with, seemed to like me for this other position they got. well i just got off the phone with him, and the company doing the hiring seems to be pushing for someone who can handle a multi-phone line system. so when he asked me if i could i had to be honest, "no, i don't have experience with it, but i'm sure i could pick it up fast." after a quick "talk" with a colleage, they feel i might not be the best match. dave said he'd none the less push for me to get it, but lets face it; i ain't.
it's been 9 months now, going on 10. i know i know i know, the market is bad, every one's out of work and every one's going through hard times.
not any one around me folks. not any one around me. all my friends who just graduated the past 2 semesters from ut? 4 of the 5 already have jobs. do you know how fucking big of a failure i feel constantly? but nobody sees it. i break down every once in a while in front of the man, but only when prompted. otherwise it's a solitary hell i live every day. everyone around me has their own problems, and i just don't want to add mine to the mix, you know? i'd rather my problems be my own. and what if i did vent every day? i don't want to be that jaime. i don't want to say at the end of everyday exactly how i feel, because i'll be complaining about the same thing every day, because every day is the same thing. nothing ever changes, nothing but how much exactly i hate looking for work, or how frustrating it is, or how much i just wish i could have a real job. something. i just need something.
and i needed to vent. so i hope none of you mind this post or the foul language. i just needed to get that out.
it's hard. it's really hard. and honestly, i don't know exactly how much more of it i can take.
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
Akasha: (n)ah-kah-shuh. akasha in Sanskrit is the cosmic aether, that which existed, exists, and will be to the end of time. In metaphysical terms it means "Spirit," the higher consciousness, a part of which resides in all. In Greek, Hindu and Buddhism studies, the Fifth Element- Spirit. In Paganism, Akasha was believed to be a benevolent guiding spirit for homosexuals. In theological studies, it refers to the Akashic Records; they contain all Experience; the history and records of the cosmos.
1 comment:
i love u and pray for u every day, well on the bright side of things we can all say ur blog looks great(cept ur picture is messed up, i think its the server) but i love u jaime and i swear to god if i have to pick up prostitution and let u be my pimp, I will. That or cut off a leg(i hear they are going rather expense these days).
Love you.
Post a Comment